Broken Glass

"The nice thing about things falling apart is

that you can pick up only the pieces that you want..."

I just read these words from a devotional email that I received and it brought back memories of how I felt several years ago and solidified where I am in my life today.  Let me share a little bit with you...

The mental and emotional trauma of separating from my spouse was one of the best, but hardest decisions I have ever made. The chaos of dysfunction colored my world crazy shades of anger, hurt, bitterness and frustration... freedom from these psychedelic emotions was found by building walls and hiding within.  It seemed at times that I would never escape...

One Saturday morning, lost in the music the worship band was playing at a Women's Meeting, I felt broken and defeated by "life".  All I saw was my brokenness...  In that moment I was granted a vision of standing alone with the shards of my life's hopes, dreams, aspirations and wants and desires falling to the ground and shattering.  I began to weep for all that I had lost and through the tears, began whispering my feelings to God.  In my anger and frustration, I asked Him, "Who even cares!?"

He whispered to my heart and soul, "I do."

The images of the vision shifted, and in that moment, I saw Jesus bent over with a small dust pan and hand broom sweeping up the broken pieces of me that lay shattered all over the floor.  His whisper came once again, "I am going to take the broken pieces of you and make them into something beautiful."

I believed.  I wept tears of gratitude.  

As an act of faith in the Words whispered to me, I gathered vases in different colors (red, blue, light blue, pink, orange, green, and yellow) and broke them into pieces with a brick.  With each vase that I crushed, I let the chaotic emotions out.  When all the vases were broken, I laid out the shattered pieces and began to glue all the different pieces back together. I wasn't trying to create anything in particular, but what eventually emerged was this...

I realized that the broken pieces of each hope, dream, aspiration and want and desire - when melded together with faith - bring a phenomenal new beauty to life.  Just as the devotional said, "The nice thing about things falling apart is that you can pick up only the pieces that you want..."  I was able to create a beautiful image (that is prominently displayed as a reminder of His promise to me) by picking the pieces I want - pieces that fit together.  Not every piece was used, because they didn't fit.

Today, I continue to choose only specific pieces - the things of life that bring love, joy and peace.  I believe my life is beginning to reflect the beauty He promised... 

I believe.  I believe for me... and I believe this for you, too.

And the best part is... it's only going to get better!

-Cheryl