What I Learned to Remember

“What I heard you say was, ‘I learned to enjoy to play again.’”

I think one day I woke up and realized how much of myself I had lost. Lost in the chaos of the life I was living, surrounded by devastating circumstances that were beyond my control*. It was enough to tip the canoe over and I felt like I was drowning. Clawing my way to the edge of the cesspool, thankfully I finally found some solid ground of clarity while in counseling several years ago. (*Another story) Thus began the “Grand Adventure” of learning to love again and learning to enjoy all the beauty that Mother Earth offers us.

Finding a playmate was delightful. Trying new things was exhilarating. Moving away was scary… I mean, thrilling. Meeting new people offered challenging rewards of forming some pretty fantastic friendships. Honoring the changes in a relationship and letting go was soul wrenching.  I have been forever changed.

The drumming of the rain on the window could be gently heard in the ebb and flow of quiet conversation as I sat with several ladies. “What did you learn while you were gone?” I was asked.

Snapshot pictures flashed through my mind as I took a moment to answer… 

Seeing the golden frogs as we hiked 16 miles down and back up the Grand Canyon...

Snowshoeing up Sunlight Mountain in the middle of the night under a full moon...

Dinner parties under the twinkling lights on the patio...

Weekend morning bicycle rides to Carbondale for breakfast at the Smithy’s Restaurant...

 Cruising down the Extraterrestrial Highway wondering if we were going to be abducted...

 Learning how to drive a forklift...

 Capturing scorpions with a black-light and tweezers...

 Dancing barefoot in the conga line at the park...

 Sitting in the hot springs while it was snowing...

Going down to the basement at work (which used to be a mortuary) and scaring my boss with ghost sounds...

Bubbles of joy surfaced as I remembered each of these moments. My heart knew the answer. I had learned to play again. Maybe that is what this part of the adventure was meant to bring me?

A lovely lady leaned over and said, “What I heard you say was, you learned to ENJOY to play again.”

Yes! She was so correct.

I had remembered how to embrace the joy and beauty of each moment with a child-like exuberance. I remembered to be open to whatever unfolded. I remembered that it was not about the destination, it was the journey. It was about those moments of laughter, those quite moments of touching, those challenging moments of trying something new, those moments… each of them, all of them… so life giving and so life changing.

We can all go “play” – be it a card game, a practical joke, shooting some hoops, a game of pool or a bike ride. But how present are we in THAT moment? It’s easy to be distracted by so many things outside of THAT moment. I think it is a definite mind shift, a choice of being fully present with what is going on around you – at all times of work, play and relaxation – that allows the joy of the moment to arise.

It’s time to remember what we knew when we were kids... 

          The glee of the moment. 

                    The beauty within every moment. 

                          The joy of play.

Wishing you a glee-filled year of enchanted play...