Broken Glass

"The nice thing about things falling apart is

that you can pick up only the pieces that you want..."

I just read these words from a devotional email that I received and it brought back memories of how I felt several years ago and solidified where I am in my life today.  Let me share a little bit with you...

The mental and emotional trauma of separating from my spouse was one of the best, but hardest decisions I have ever made. The chaos of dysfunction colored my world crazy shades of anger, hurt, bitterness and frustration... freedom from these psychedelic emotions was found by building walls and hiding within.  It seemed at times that I would never escape...

One Saturday morning, lost in the music the worship band was playing at a Women's Meeting, I felt broken and defeated by "life".  All I saw was my brokenness...  In that moment I was granted a vision of standing alone with the shards of my life's hopes, dreams, aspirations and wants and desires falling to the ground and shattering.  I began to weep for all that I had lost and through the tears, began whispering my feelings to God.  In my anger and frustration, I asked Him, "Who even cares!?"

He whispered to my heart and soul, "I do."

The images of the vision shifted, and in that moment, I saw Jesus bent over with a small dust pan and hand broom sweeping up the broken pieces of me that lay shattered all over the floor.  His whisper came once again, "I am going to take the broken pieces of you and make them into something beautiful."

I believed.  I wept tears of gratitude.  

As an act of faith in the Words whispered to me, I gathered vases in different colors (red, blue, light blue, pink, orange, green, and yellow) and broke them into pieces with a brick.  With each vase that I crushed, I let the chaotic emotions out.  When all the vases were broken, I laid out the shattered pieces and began to glue all the different pieces back together. I wasn't trying to create anything in particular, but what eventually emerged was this...

I realized that the broken pieces of each hope, dream, aspiration and want and desire - when melded together with faith - bring a phenomenal new beauty to life.  Just as the devotional said, "The nice thing about things falling apart is that you can pick up only the pieces that you want..."  I was able to create a beautiful image (that is prominently displayed as a reminder of His promise to me) by picking the pieces I want - pieces that fit together.  Not every piece was used, because they didn't fit.

Today, I continue to choose only specific pieces - the things of life that bring love, joy and peace.  I believe my life is beginning to reflect the beauty He promised... 

I believe.  I believe for me... and I believe this for you, too.

And the best part is... it's only going to get better!

-Cheryl

The Encounter

When the car headed south our last trip in March from Washington to Phoenix we actually had an agenda.  We had heard about the mysterious Area 51 which lays in the desert plains of southwestern Nevada, and decided that THIS was something that we definitely needed to experience...


Area 51 is a military base whose primary purpose is to support development and testing of experimental aircraft and weapons systems. As Wikipedia says, "The intense secrecy surrounding the base, the very existence of which the U.S. government barely acknowledges, has made it the frequent subject of conspiracy theories and a central component to unidentified flying object (UFO) folklore."

Well, there are a couple of other strange things about this secret Area 51...

Did you know that it is located on the Extraterrestrial Highway?

 

Area 51 is really quite protected... (Take a picture and run...!!!)

We even found the most interesting little restaurant and motel in Rachel, Nevada called The Little A'Le'Inn. Pat, the owner of this unique establishment, offers these intriguing thoughts: 

"The events and unidentified flying objects we see and only hear at times in this area often leave us shaking our heads. The unknown is what we live for. The times when logic escapes us and the knowledge of things to come are before us. We welcome it all... Look up as the truth lies there. Always keep your eyes to the skies whenever you can. You just never know when that special event will happen. At those times there may be no answers, leaving you only to wonder what just happened or what you saw, and having to ask more questions... getting no answers. Life is a mystery, enjoy the ride."

So, we did just that... We explored the slightly eerie highways and side roads of southwestern Nevada and this is what we found... 

You just never know WHAT is going to happen 

around that next turn in the road...

-Cheryl

The Blue Suit and Red Cape

I had a dream last night that I was writing my next blog post… So, I thought I should get to it.  There must be something that I can say… I am usually never at a loss for words.

I had a picture in my mind of Superman flying up and away from the Empire State Building, yet it wasn’t him – it was me. (I know, the whole blue suit and cape thing would be stepping outside of my usual wardrobe… But, it was a cool picture in my head.)  My eyes were closed as I soared towards the sky, arms extended behind me and a lazy smile of contentment played across my face.

 

How high could I soar like this? What brings this kind of feeling of elation?

V.Satui Winery, Napa Valley CA

The Grand Adventure has brought me through the streets of Chaos, Fear, and Doubt  to the Gate of Possibilities.  Daily life filled with faulty mindsets, overwhelming responsibilities, and unrealistic commitments will become suffocating.   The winding streets of life always lead back to each other, intertwined and connecting creating a maze that is difficult (but not impossible) to break out of.  

The Desert Trail,
South Mountain, Phoenix AZ

First comes the thought and desire for “life to be different” – that yearning for a balanced life that the soul is seeking.  At this point, it is easy to suppress the desires of the soul and cling to the illusion that everything is under control.  You know, that whole, “Buck up and Deal With It!” Attitude.  However, for me, the desire to change was greater than my "need" to cling to the supposed security of my tangled life. So, it was my boldest choice to follow the Path of Change to see where it would lead. I could find no reason not to embark on this journey...  Walking through this Gate of Possibilities released me into the Wild Unknown where the rugged beauty of my life is filled with Faith, Opportunities and Unlimited Potential. 

Donning the Blue Suit and Red Cape, 

I have experienced life in a new dimension.

Mesa Verde National Park,
Mesa Verde, CO

Alice Kingsley: "Sometimes I believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast." 
The Mad Hatter: "That is an excellent practice." 

(Excerpt taken from Alice in Wonderland, 2010)

How high will I soar? I guess that will only be determined by how many impossible things I believe in…

Let's begin counting, shall we?

-Cheryl

Lost in the Quietness

Man, my life was out of control! Late to bed and early to rise, rushing through every morning ritual, including my quiet time with God.  No time for breakfast, barely time for coffee.  Hurrying out the door for work, where most days the pace never let up. Quickly leaving work to make my way to the gym for a swift workout before I found myself tangled in some other obligation or responsibility.  What had I done to myself?  Did I even know myself?

Have you ever felt that if the Earth didn’t quit spinning you would fall off?  I did… It was spinning too rapidly for me to keep up. I wanted it to stop…  I wanted off this manic ride.  I wanted to collapse on a shore where I could once again find my breath.  I wanted to stand on a mountain where my thoughts were as clear as the air.  I wanted to walk down a path that led beside still waters.  I wanted to look up into the night sky long enough to get lost among the stars and planets, swallowed up by its vast magnitude.

Those were days I felt like the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland singing: “I'm late!  I'm late! For a very important date.  No time to say "Hello."  Goodbye.  I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.” But, where was I going and why?  Lost in the busyness of life, did I ever take time to enjoy the moment of NOW?  To breathe deeply the beauty of each moment – in spite of the circumstances I faced.  Looking deeply into the eyes of the person I was talking to and really listening to what they were and weren’t saying; to embrace the one that desperately needed a hug regardless of what time it was; to celebrate with abandon the good fortune of another; to escape into the stillness of the sunset by turning my phone off or stopping to breathe in the smell of the flowers at the grocery store instead of rushing past without so much as a glance…

This journey has reminded me to dance within each moment I have been given.  You see, I only have now, THIS moment…   And what do I choose to do with it?  It is my choice, and yours too.  It is my choice to stop and feel the sand between my toes; to place my hands on a rock that was created a million years ago and contemplate all that it has seen and witnessed; to close my eyes and listen to the wind blowing through the trees, allowing them the opportunity to dance with abandonment for all to see; to create laughter; and to accept each person for the divinely beautiful creation that they are – just as they are.  The power of THIS moment alters my thoughts and fills my heart with gratitude and joy.

Quieting myself - from the doing, going, rushing - has become an act of will.  For many, many years I operated at a pace that was toxic for my soul, spirit and physical body.  Embracing the quietness within each moment brings harmony to my life.  It is something I deeply desire - to be connected to all that God has created.  

Today, the beauty of life unfolds as I remember Who I Am ... And, I can only be Who I Was Created To Be as I continue to slow down long enough to know myself.  


-Cheryl